Toastmasters Competent Communicator Project 1: The Ice Breaker

I did my first speech on friday. I was to introduce myself to the club so they might know me better=) The main objectives of Project 1 are to begin speaking before an audience and to discover speaking skills I already have & skills that need attention.

I finished preparing my speech only the nite before the actual presentation day! Spent abt 2hrs+ at NUS racking my brains... I wasn't satisfied with the final piece but what could one expect from last min work haha... I read thru the speech to make sure it met the min time designated (the time given is 4-6mins) and as it was already quite late, I decided to practise more tomorrow. Unfortunately while I planned to practise for at least 1.5hrs, I end up with only half an hr after I finished the day's other important activities. You can imagine the stress I'm going thru... haha

Judgement time.

I started off the speech quite well but I must admit it didn't quite fulfill my expectation of the audience's response at my initial ice-breaker joke ie the 2 main purposes. I suspected that affect me a bit and coupled with the fact that I wasn't very familiar with the content of my speech, my presentation started to quiver. The link from one point to another wasn't obvious and strong. As I could not link smoothly (I need to refer to my cue cards a few times), I started to get nervous and all the forbidden words like "Er" and "Ah" came out, though I was aware and tried to limit theri existence.

Evaluation time.

My evaluator who was both a Competent Communicator and Leader (accolades of mastery in TM) congratulated me on fulfilling the objectives of Project 1. She found my speech to be loud, audible and humourous. Unfortunately there were some signs of nervousness as I was swaying slighty. My organization and linkage of my speech needs to be improved as mentioned above. She also commented on using smaller cue cards (I really laugh at this one haha).

So Ladies & Gentlemen, presenting the very raw form of my script. Enjoy!

"Good evening, Toastmaster of the Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Tonight I would like you to know a little bit more about me and in the process, I hope to achieve 2 main purposes:

Purpose Number One: All the single and available girls in this room would find me likeable and not reject me when I ask you for your mobile number.
And Purpose Number Two: All the eligible bachelors in this room would take pity on me and not vie with me for the girls!

Yes, this is one characteristics of me. I would really like to crack jokes as I feel it lightens up the atmosphere and helps to break the ice. Speaking of ice which has the characteristics of being cold, how about this one? Why does Mr A throw the clock out of the window? Because he wants to see Time Flies… Very cold… This is a cold joke.

But more often than not, most people would know me as the friendly introvert who don’t talk much and always end up as a listener in a conversation. Someone who would be contented just to indulge in musical plays and nostalgic music. I think this could be due partly to my religion, Buddhism which asks us to look inward more than outward.

I started practising Buddhism when I left junior college. Well…You know… The time when a hot-blooded teenage guy is looking for answers to his problems and life. However the more significant event in my spiritual path was when I ordained as a novice monk in Malaysia after I graduated from university. I shaved off my hair. For your information. My hair was not this short when I first graduated from university. My fringe reached my jaw literally and I looked just like any gangster from the movie Young and Dangerous. But like what my friend likes to say I am a kind-hearted gangster. Coming back, besides shaving my hair, I also have to don the saffron robes representative of a disciple of the Buddha. Life is very simple. No American Idol, no Jay Chou. Wake up at 430am in the morning and sleep at 10pm. Eat 2 meals a day before noon time. The rest is all cultivation, mainly in the form of formal meditation and mindfulness in whatever I am doing. Well… I sort of miss those days really…

However there is another side to me; one part which cannot sit still and constantly want to try new things. To challenge and improve myself. Take for example: I joined NUS Rovers in my final year to attempt to scale the highest peak in West Malaysia: Gunung Tahan. As the mountain name implies, you really must be able to tahan the steep ascent up the mountain. It was really challenging both physically and mentally but also lots of fun! And through the process, I came to enjoy a short fame in NUS Rover as “The guy with 2 underwears”. In view that some of you may be underage, it would be best that I don’t reveal much here…

Another more recent incident was to go racing in Pasir Gudan, Johor with my friends and I almostcould not make it back! The story went like this: after a few rounds driving as if I am on Singapore expressway ie 90km/hr, I imagined myself to be Michael Schumichael and stepped on the accelerator like petrol is really cheap in Singapore! Unfortunately I did not brake enough at a turn and my car literally flew off the track and into the sand pits! Fortunatey my car did not overturn but my new car had sustainable scratches on the right side which cost me a few hundred bucks to repair. At those few moments, my breathing really stopped.

I am currently working as a financial planner with an independent financial advisory company for about 6 years. The job encompasses some of the characterisitics which are in line with my attributes as mentioned above. Challenging: Sales is definitely not my cup of tea as an introvert. What more I need to start with zero income and slowly build it up to reach the level a graduate would earn for a entry level job in society. But it was also balanced nicely with attribute that I like to help people.

And the latest addition to my challenge list is to conquer NUS Alumni Toastmasters;P

Ladies and Gentlemen, let us recap our main purposes for this session in case u‘ve forgotten:
Purpose No 1: Ladies, do not recall my request for yr mobile no when approached.
Purpose No 2: Gentlemen, help yr poor brother here!"

And here is recognition of completing Project 1.





With more preparation, I'm going to ace Project 2!;)

Reunion of the Primary School Gang (for CNY)!

Today 6 classmates from 6/1 of Clementi Town Primary School (no longer in pure existence as it has since merged with Clementi North Pri Sch to become Clementi Pri Sch) converged at each other's house after donkey years (actually only a couple of years lah haha) to pay CNY respects to each other haha.

We were supposed to meet at my house at 1030am but all came late! Some by 30 mins! What is this?!! Obviously their bad habit of inpunctuality has not changed over the years! Haha. Franly speaking, I think I'd be late too if it were to start at another person's house but too bad, I was the organiser today! What I said count!

Finally we could settle down after all the bickerings and lame jokes (we still use the SAME old lame jokes after all these years!) for a group photo at my place.



After that, we proceed to walk 2 blocks to my best friend's, Stanley's, place. He has recently moved to Tampines with his wife. Next month would be his new home's house warming and we look forward to it to have another round of his lame jokes (yes, same ones again! haha). Below is the pic taken at his parents' place. He's the chubby guy at top right;p



Finally the last stop in Clementi before we headed off North to Choa Chu Kang area. This was the first time we went to Soo Yean's home to bai nian as he rejoined our gang only a couple of years back after MIA for so long. We played Wii Tennis at his place and were relunctant to go as we'd great fun. Soo Yean was the only guy who played by the rules of CNY ie he wore red! haha.



Oh! And this was me doing a Roger Federer's forehand! hahahha



Next we were off to CCK. The journey was uneventful with Weimin deciding to take the Jurong East route while I followed behind Guoxiong's car via Ngee Ann Polytechnic. The only real "excitement" was when some inconsiderate driver cut in Guoxiong's lane unexpectly and he was forced to brake hard. As I was following closely behind, I reacted instinctively and narrowly missed kissing his backside!! haha

We arrived safely at Guoxiong's house after that and continued our gaming experience with PSP2 Winning Eleven. Weimin still led the pack, followed closely by Stanley. Below pic was taken using my faithful camera's timer function as GX's parents left for another appt:




And I secretly took their personal photos while they were too engrossed in the game! heehee



WM: I'm getting sleepy from winning too many easy matches...



GX: This is boring match! No fight at all... Zzzzz



SH: I think u shld move yr player to the left...



Peggy: I cant understand why guys love soccer so much!



Stan: Scoreee.........

And the guys got the stupid idea to skip lunch and so we ended up immediately at Peggy's house. Peggy was the only female member of our gang and a very pretty one hehee. We continued with more Wii at her place. This time was bowling though. Her dad was waiting to challenge us all! And we had a good thrashing by him (should have known better to challenge him...) Ok, the defeat photo...



Damn! I was last (I think) but at least crossed the 100 points mark hee (just only hahha)

Group photo at Peggy's house:



After a few more rounds, we decided to throw in the towel to Uncle. Last stop, Weimin's house. Peggy got to go for a casting and would meet us at WM's place directly (She told us it'd take 5 mins only but end up more than 1-2hrs! Lucky we din follow her! haha)

More PSP2 at WM place. This time is car racing.



By this time, I was hungry like mad! We ordered pizza hut and I really fested! No group photo was taken at WM place as Stan left early to go home sweet home for dinner with his wife.

It was a most joyous and tiring and hungry=( day but it was worth it!

Looking forward to next year!;)

There is something about kids...=P

It is quite obvious... I like kids... (when they are not crying hahaha)

Today, while on the way to office, my bus stopped at a red light. Beside me happened to be another bus. Looking through the window of that bus was an inquisitive primary school boy (I think should be lower primary) who was smiling happily and looking at things all around him.

His eyes caught me.

He looked at me.

Then, very shyly, he waved his hands at me.

I was dumbstruck as to what to do, so I smiled back.

He was so happy and excited that he turned to his mother beside him to tell her about his findings. His mum ignored him at first.

He turned back to look at me.

He waved again.

This time, I smiled and waved back=)

He immediately called his mum who turned to look at what was happening.

She also smiled.

The middle-age couple, seated behind them, curious at whwat was happening, also turned to look at me and smiled when they realised what was going on.

And all these good chain reaction happens as a result of a young boy's goodwill in greeting a blur stranger on his way to office=)

May we retain such innocence and purity even as we progress materially=)

Think U Can, Think U Can't, Either Way U r Rite!

Think You Can, Think You Can't, Either Way You Are Right. This is the table topic for NUS Alumni Toastmasters Contest in our February Chapter Meeting. I was one of the "fortunate" competitors in this contest. Or should I say, I was conned into the contest! haha.

I joined NUS Alumni Toastmasters last month as I want to improve my public speaking and presentation skills. I volunteered for the table topic during my first meeting and had a rude shock when I failed terribly. However I know practice makes perfect and I decided to try again. Though I want to practise, February meeting was the club's contest for International and Table Topic. Thus I was not too sure if it would be appropiate to participate, especially as I believe the standard would be very high! The coordinator conned, oops I mean, encouraged me to join and thus there I was breaking out in cold sweat when I received subsequent emails which were very serious like proper dressing and the large number of audience.

Still, there is no turning back for my ego! haha. I just have to take the risk. It would still help me to practise anywhere. As I got the topic and started to speak, I could not help but want to "take revenge" on the coordinator haha. So I started with talk abt being conned into this contest and what followed was a truthful and humourous speech which touched the judges' heart. The 2nd runner-up was the ensuring result=)







To find out more abt NUS Alumni Toastmasters, pls see http://nusalumni.freetoasthost.org/.

This link was given to me by a good friend with very interesting write-ups about the above table topic (I especially like the story ahhaha): http://www.upgradereality.com/whether-you-think-you-can-or-cant-you-are-right

Meditation Retreat 2009 (Part III)

Apology for the late posting of the last part of my meditation retreat sharing as I'm... well...back to my hectic daily schedule=( haha. Luckily the force has not totally diminished=)

Ok, let's continue. The main objective of the retreat is to cultivate the heart and the mind. The mind is an unfathomable and untamed creature but yet, when cultivated, its immerse potential and power can be unleashed. We have heard and seen so many such examples in real life. During the course of my retreat, I've observed how it changed from being wild, emotional and full of mundane defilements to being more subdued and opened. I wrote clearly in my diary (my friend gave me a diary for me prior to the retreat for me to write down each day's events and feelings and it has proved to be an enormous useful gift! Even the sharing abt my retreat is possible cos I can refer back to the diary. I really thank her from the bottom of my heart=)that on one day I was frustrated that I was not able to pen down all the events, feelings and thinkings (4 pages) but in my entry for the next day, I don't feel like writing (less than 1 page). I also observed that my "mood" for meditation changed from very keen to very sian & dull etc. In fact, our mind can change much faster.

We should not be led by the nose by our feelings and defilements as they are impermanent. They are only existent at that moment. But usually we identify with them so much such that we think they are us then and thus the vicious unhappy cycle carries on. Just observe them, be mindful of them and follow the normal schedule that one has decided for oneself. Contemplation is important to understand why it happens too for us to increase in our wisdom.

Let's move on to some light-hearted issues for now. When I arrived at the monastery, there were 2 "adorable" kids there. Abt the age of 8 I believe. They are brothers. I put adorable with open and close inverted commons cos after a while, they are not so "adorable" after all haha. I guess the main thing is as all the people in the monastery is very nice, we'd forgive them easily, including myself initially but after a while, I think this may not be the best way for them to improve. For example, they would not clean up thoroughly after their meals and then ants would gather. I was quite strict with them subsequently and I think the younger brother was not too pleased haha. They also like to disturb an old dog called "Ah-O", apparently cos it is black. The dog is ABSOLUTELY without a temper! The kids would disturb it and try to drag it to other places when it is resting. Still it is as tame and good-natured as ever?!! There are also lotsa squirrels in the monastery. There are a few times in which they are just a few metres from me! Very cute=)

One last point abt my retreat before I finally end it. Finally! The first time I successfully complete a retreat blogging! Yoo Hoo!!! It is regarding my walking meditation. I din realise it until later into the retreat. I always use walking meditation as "relaxed" time. I mean after one hr of sitting in which my whole body would be aching (esp my legs being in great pain or numb). Walking meditation serves to act as exercise to bring back the blood circulation. This is wrong! As such, my walking mediation has not improved through the years. Well, I'm glad I realise it.

I really look forward to the next retreat but for now, it's show time in the mundane world!;P

Meditation Retreat 2009 (Part II)

The retreat was 14 days and I would not be talking abt my experience every day (as it could be quite personal as well as long=). Instead I would focus on informative and significant events during my retreat.

Santi Forest Monastery adopts a "Sui Yuan" (flexible) schedule though it does had a basic one. You can opt for an intensive meditation retreat coming out just for lunch to just helping out with monastery chores. It depends on the inclination of each individual. For me, I opt for somewhere in between=)

Below was my personal schedule:

4am - Wake Up
4.20 - 6am Meditation
6 - 6.45am Morning Chanting
6.45 - 7.30am Simple Monastery Chores & Breakfast
7.30 - 9.30am Help out with Alms Round
9.30 - 10.30am - Help prepare food collected on Alms Round for lunch or cut fruits
(If I din help out with Alms Round, I would do my meditation)
10.30 - 11.15am - Lunch
11.15 - 12.30pm - Clean Up after Lunch
12.30 - 1pm - Contemplation
1 - 2pm - Rest (short nap)
2 - 3.30pm - Meditation
3.30 - 5pm - Help out Monastery Chores
5 - 5.30pm - Shower
5.30 - 6.45pm - Meditation
7 - 7.45pm - Evening Chanting
7.45 - 9.30pm - Meditation
9.30 - 10pm - Reflection & Penning down
10 - 4am - Rest
* Above sche in terms of timing was approximate.

As compared to my previous retreat, this is considered relaxed but I find that there is a huge advantage. In my previous retreat, I focused on intensive meditation and not much contemplation. Thus I was not able to make full use of "insights" learnt to assist in my everyday life. The sche then was a bit too intensive for someone who did not consistently do his meditation...=P

The retreat this year was very fruitful but it wasn't all smooth sailing. On the second day, I was even saying to myself " What am I doing here?!! I should be at home relaxing and watching TV!!" haha. But I am so glad I went and sticked thru it all=) Above comment obviously shows that I am losing my interest in the cultivation path...

I would say this is the most "luan" (mind all over the place) retreat so far! haha cos even when I reached my fourth day in the monastery, I was still not quite sure what I was here for! Fortunately my good Karma ripened then and I realised that I came here wanting to achieve something... a defilement I brought along with me to the retreat... My main objective should be just cultivation... to train my heart... not WANTING to get anything in return like peace etc. I should let go, not grasp even harder.

I added an additional objective subsequently and that was to bring the benefits from the retreat back with me to my mundane life to help me cope with it better. My real retreat started at that moment but I guess it was a necessary and natural stage I needed to go thru to progress to the next. My friend went back on the 6th day as he got other commitments but at the retreat, we seldom talked to each other too.

I was faced with the similar meditation problems in this retreat. Pain and numbness in my legs which developed to pain on one side of my body. My awareness was running between my breath (which is my meditation object) and the pain. I think I need a Venerable Teacher to guide me but at the same time, I was not sure what should I ask?

During this time, I happened to read a free distribution book titled " The Ultimate Path to Self-Enlightment" in which the author narrated his experience. He just returned from overseas after his PhD and saw a lot of his friends and colleagues going to temples to be obatined temporarily. He thought to himself that surely there must be some benefits from this, if not why are everyone doing this?? He decided to try for himself and tested it like the true scientist he is. It was really amazing. He also experienced pain and numbness during his meditation and he either switched posture or got up to do sitting meditation but after as while, this thought dawned on him: If he kept on doing that, he was not dealing with his defilements! As such, he made a resolve not to get up at all no matter how painful it was! This really inspired me and I decided to do the same... To be cont=)

Annual Meditation Retreat 14-28 Dec 2009: Santi Forest Monastery (Malaysia) Part I

I would usually go for a personal meditation retreat towards end of the year every year to reflect on the current year as well as recharge and prepare myself for the coming year. This year was no exception too. Initially I was contemplating between going to Thailand as I got contacts to go to the forest monasteries there or Santi Forest Monastery in Ulu Tiram, Johor, Malaysia where Ajahn Keng (also a Singaporean) is the abbot. Previously I have been to Ji Jing Yuan at Kajang, Selangor; Ji Jing Lin in Pahang; Dhamma Light Meditation Centre at Api Api, Johor and last year was at Batu Pahat, Johor. I like to move ard a bit for now to check out different monasteries, their style and schedule. Maybe eventually I'd settle for one that I feel would be most conducive for my cultivation=)

Eventually I decided to go Santi Forest Monastery. Save money on air fare=P. I jio another friend along this time round. Usually I like to go alone or with just a couple of friends. It is a personal preference in which I feel I would not be "distracted" by familiar faces. Wrong view??=P

As Ajahn Keng was in Thailand at the time we were to go down, I seeked permission from Bhikkhu Lee who is left in charge of the monastery. Bhikkhu Lee kindly agreed immediately.

It was a mad rush as usual before going for the 2-week long retreat in which I would switch off my mobile and be cut off from the rest of the world=) as I need to settle all outstanding issues on hand. An irony? Now rush like mad, then later in retreat, just calmness...??

I was grateful to Bro Xin Hao from Singapore Polytechnic Buddhist Society who gave me information on how to reach there using the public transport (which really freaks me as I do not speak malay and would not know if the bus takes me all the way to Kedah!!) as well as the latest map which proves to be extremely useful.


Basically one can take a bus (either SBS Transit 170 or the yellow Causeway Link) from Kranji mrt all the way to Larkin Terminal in Johor. From there, look for a bus with a sign indicating Ulu Tiram. Pay RM$3 and you would be on your way. Surprising the journey took abt 30 mins only. However as there is some construction going on ard that area, the bus would not turn into Ulu Tiram Terminal. Thus you need to keep a lookout for TM (I figure it stands for Telco Malaya or something like that) Building which is easy as it is quite prominent (before that, do note that you are already in Ulu Tiram area) and press the bell to stop the bus. After that, you can easily ask for directions to Ulu Tiram Terminal which is just 5-10 mins away. Take the blue-coloured cab which cost RM$14 to finally reach Santi Forest Monastery. If you are like me who don't speak malay, you can show the map to the driver, a praying sign (anjali) and say the name "Ah Ming" (apparently one of the regulars at the monastery) . The driver would understand easily.

The real formal cultivation would start very soon. Look out for the next blog=)