The retreat was 14 days and I would not be talking abt my experience every day (as it could be quite personal as well as long=). Instead I would focus on informative and significant events during my retreat.
Santi Forest Monastery adopts a "Sui Yuan" (flexible) schedule though it does had a basic one. You can opt for an intensive meditation retreat coming out just for lunch to just helping out with monastery chores. It depends on the inclination of each individual. For me, I opt for somewhere in between=)
Below was my personal schedule:
4am - Wake Up
4.20 - 6am Meditation
6 - 6.45am Morning Chanting
6.45 - 7.30am Simple Monastery Chores & Breakfast
7.30 - 9.30am Help out with Alms Round
9.30 - 10.30am - Help prepare food collected on Alms Round for lunch or cut fruits
(If I din help out with Alms Round, I would do my meditation)
10.30 - 11.15am - Lunch
11.15 - 12.30pm - Clean Up after Lunch
12.30 - 1pm - Contemplation
1 - 2pm - Rest (short nap)
2 - 3.30pm - Meditation
3.30 - 5pm - Help out Monastery Chores
5 - 5.30pm - Shower
5.30 - 6.45pm - Meditation
7 - 7.45pm - Evening Chanting
7.45 - 9.30pm - Meditation
9.30 - 10pm - Reflection & Penning down
10 - 4am - Rest
* Above sche in terms of timing was approximate.
As compared to my previous retreat, this is considered relaxed but I find that there is a huge advantage. In my previous retreat, I focused on intensive meditation and not much contemplation. Thus I was not able to make full use of "insights" learnt to assist in my everyday life. The sche then was a bit too intensive for someone who did not consistently do his meditation...=P
The retreat this year was very fruitful but it wasn't all smooth sailing. On the second day, I was even saying to myself " What am I doing here?!! I should be at home relaxing and watching TV!!" haha. But I am so glad I went and sticked thru it all=) Above comment obviously shows that I am losing my interest in the cultivation path...
I would say this is the most "luan" (mind all over the place) retreat so far! haha cos even when I reached my fourth day in the monastery, I was still not quite sure what I was here for! Fortunately my good Karma ripened then and I realised that I came here wanting to achieve something... a defilement I brought along with me to the retreat... My main objective should be just cultivation... to train my heart... not WANTING to get anything in return like peace etc. I should let go, not grasp even harder.
I added an additional objective subsequently and that was to bring the benefits from the retreat back with me to my mundane life to help me cope with it better. My real retreat started at that moment but I guess it was a necessary and natural stage I needed to go thru to progress to the next. My friend went back on the 6th day as he got other commitments but at the retreat, we seldom talked to each other too.
I was faced with the similar meditation problems in this retreat. Pain and numbness in my legs which developed to pain on one side of my body. My awareness was running between my breath (which is my meditation object) and the pain. I think I need a Venerable Teacher to guide me but at the same time, I was not sure what should I ask?
During this time, I happened to read a free distribution book titled " The Ultimate Path to Self-Enlightment" in which the author narrated his experience. He just returned from overseas after his PhD and saw a lot of his friends and colleagues going to temples to be obatined temporarily. He thought to himself that surely there must be some benefits from this, if not why are everyone doing this?? He decided to try for himself and tested it like the true scientist he is. It was really amazing. He also experienced pain and numbness during his meditation and he either switched posture or got up to do sitting meditation but after as while, this thought dawned on him: If he kept on doing that, he was not dealing with his defilements! As such, he made a resolve not to get up at all no matter how painful it was! This really inspired me and I decided to do the same... To be cont=)
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