Think U Can, Think U Can't, Either Way U r Rite!

Think You Can, Think You Can't, Either Way You Are Right. This is the table topic for NUS Alumni Toastmasters Contest in our February Chapter Meeting. I was one of the "fortunate" competitors in this contest. Or should I say, I was conned into the contest! haha.

I joined NUS Alumni Toastmasters last month as I want to improve my public speaking and presentation skills. I volunteered for the table topic during my first meeting and had a rude shock when I failed terribly. However I know practice makes perfect and I decided to try again. Though I want to practise, February meeting was the club's contest for International and Table Topic. Thus I was not too sure if it would be appropiate to participate, especially as I believe the standard would be very high! The coordinator conned, oops I mean, encouraged me to join and thus there I was breaking out in cold sweat when I received subsequent emails which were very serious like proper dressing and the large number of audience.

Still, there is no turning back for my ego! haha. I just have to take the risk. It would still help me to practise anywhere. As I got the topic and started to speak, I could not help but want to "take revenge" on the coordinator haha. So I started with talk abt being conned into this contest and what followed was a truthful and humourous speech which touched the judges' heart. The 2nd runner-up was the ensuring result=)







To find out more abt NUS Alumni Toastmasters, pls see http://nusalumni.freetoasthost.org/.

This link was given to me by a good friend with very interesting write-ups about the above table topic (I especially like the story ahhaha): http://www.upgradereality.com/whether-you-think-you-can-or-cant-you-are-right

Meditation Retreat 2009 (Part III)

Apology for the late posting of the last part of my meditation retreat sharing as I'm... well...back to my hectic daily schedule=( haha. Luckily the force has not totally diminished=)

Ok, let's continue. The main objective of the retreat is to cultivate the heart and the mind. The mind is an unfathomable and untamed creature but yet, when cultivated, its immerse potential and power can be unleashed. We have heard and seen so many such examples in real life. During the course of my retreat, I've observed how it changed from being wild, emotional and full of mundane defilements to being more subdued and opened. I wrote clearly in my diary (my friend gave me a diary for me prior to the retreat for me to write down each day's events and feelings and it has proved to be an enormous useful gift! Even the sharing abt my retreat is possible cos I can refer back to the diary. I really thank her from the bottom of my heart=)that on one day I was frustrated that I was not able to pen down all the events, feelings and thinkings (4 pages) but in my entry for the next day, I don't feel like writing (less than 1 page). I also observed that my "mood" for meditation changed from very keen to very sian & dull etc. In fact, our mind can change much faster.

We should not be led by the nose by our feelings and defilements as they are impermanent. They are only existent at that moment. But usually we identify with them so much such that we think they are us then and thus the vicious unhappy cycle carries on. Just observe them, be mindful of them and follow the normal schedule that one has decided for oneself. Contemplation is important to understand why it happens too for us to increase in our wisdom.

Let's move on to some light-hearted issues for now. When I arrived at the monastery, there were 2 "adorable" kids there. Abt the age of 8 I believe. They are brothers. I put adorable with open and close inverted commons cos after a while, they are not so "adorable" after all haha. I guess the main thing is as all the people in the monastery is very nice, we'd forgive them easily, including myself initially but after a while, I think this may not be the best way for them to improve. For example, they would not clean up thoroughly after their meals and then ants would gather. I was quite strict with them subsequently and I think the younger brother was not too pleased haha. They also like to disturb an old dog called "Ah-O", apparently cos it is black. The dog is ABSOLUTELY without a temper! The kids would disturb it and try to drag it to other places when it is resting. Still it is as tame and good-natured as ever?!! There are also lotsa squirrels in the monastery. There are a few times in which they are just a few metres from me! Very cute=)

One last point abt my retreat before I finally end it. Finally! The first time I successfully complete a retreat blogging! Yoo Hoo!!! It is regarding my walking meditation. I din realise it until later into the retreat. I always use walking meditation as "relaxed" time. I mean after one hr of sitting in which my whole body would be aching (esp my legs being in great pain or numb). Walking meditation serves to act as exercise to bring back the blood circulation. This is wrong! As such, my walking mediation has not improved through the years. Well, I'm glad I realise it.

I really look forward to the next retreat but for now, it's show time in the mundane world!;P

Meditation Retreat 2009 (Part II)

The retreat was 14 days and I would not be talking abt my experience every day (as it could be quite personal as well as long=). Instead I would focus on informative and significant events during my retreat.

Santi Forest Monastery adopts a "Sui Yuan" (flexible) schedule though it does had a basic one. You can opt for an intensive meditation retreat coming out just for lunch to just helping out with monastery chores. It depends on the inclination of each individual. For me, I opt for somewhere in between=)

Below was my personal schedule:

4am - Wake Up
4.20 - 6am Meditation
6 - 6.45am Morning Chanting
6.45 - 7.30am Simple Monastery Chores & Breakfast
7.30 - 9.30am Help out with Alms Round
9.30 - 10.30am - Help prepare food collected on Alms Round for lunch or cut fruits
(If I din help out with Alms Round, I would do my meditation)
10.30 - 11.15am - Lunch
11.15 - 12.30pm - Clean Up after Lunch
12.30 - 1pm - Contemplation
1 - 2pm - Rest (short nap)
2 - 3.30pm - Meditation
3.30 - 5pm - Help out Monastery Chores
5 - 5.30pm - Shower
5.30 - 6.45pm - Meditation
7 - 7.45pm - Evening Chanting
7.45 - 9.30pm - Meditation
9.30 - 10pm - Reflection & Penning down
10 - 4am - Rest
* Above sche in terms of timing was approximate.

As compared to my previous retreat, this is considered relaxed but I find that there is a huge advantage. In my previous retreat, I focused on intensive meditation and not much contemplation. Thus I was not able to make full use of "insights" learnt to assist in my everyday life. The sche then was a bit too intensive for someone who did not consistently do his meditation...=P

The retreat this year was very fruitful but it wasn't all smooth sailing. On the second day, I was even saying to myself " What am I doing here?!! I should be at home relaxing and watching TV!!" haha. But I am so glad I went and sticked thru it all=) Above comment obviously shows that I am losing my interest in the cultivation path...

I would say this is the most "luan" (mind all over the place) retreat so far! haha cos even when I reached my fourth day in the monastery, I was still not quite sure what I was here for! Fortunately my good Karma ripened then and I realised that I came here wanting to achieve something... a defilement I brought along with me to the retreat... My main objective should be just cultivation... to train my heart... not WANTING to get anything in return like peace etc. I should let go, not grasp even harder.

I added an additional objective subsequently and that was to bring the benefits from the retreat back with me to my mundane life to help me cope with it better. My real retreat started at that moment but I guess it was a necessary and natural stage I needed to go thru to progress to the next. My friend went back on the 6th day as he got other commitments but at the retreat, we seldom talked to each other too.

I was faced with the similar meditation problems in this retreat. Pain and numbness in my legs which developed to pain on one side of my body. My awareness was running between my breath (which is my meditation object) and the pain. I think I need a Venerable Teacher to guide me but at the same time, I was not sure what should I ask?

During this time, I happened to read a free distribution book titled " The Ultimate Path to Self-Enlightment" in which the author narrated his experience. He just returned from overseas after his PhD and saw a lot of his friends and colleagues going to temples to be obatined temporarily. He thought to himself that surely there must be some benefits from this, if not why are everyone doing this?? He decided to try for himself and tested it like the true scientist he is. It was really amazing. He also experienced pain and numbness during his meditation and he either switched posture or got up to do sitting meditation but after as while, this thought dawned on him: If he kept on doing that, he was not dealing with his defilements! As such, he made a resolve not to get up at all no matter how painful it was! This really inspired me and I decided to do the same... To be cont=)

Annual Meditation Retreat 14-28 Dec 2009: Santi Forest Monastery (Malaysia) Part I

I would usually go for a personal meditation retreat towards end of the year every year to reflect on the current year as well as recharge and prepare myself for the coming year. This year was no exception too. Initially I was contemplating between going to Thailand as I got contacts to go to the forest monasteries there or Santi Forest Monastery in Ulu Tiram, Johor, Malaysia where Ajahn Keng (also a Singaporean) is the abbot. Previously I have been to Ji Jing Yuan at Kajang, Selangor; Ji Jing Lin in Pahang; Dhamma Light Meditation Centre at Api Api, Johor and last year was at Batu Pahat, Johor. I like to move ard a bit for now to check out different monasteries, their style and schedule. Maybe eventually I'd settle for one that I feel would be most conducive for my cultivation=)

Eventually I decided to go Santi Forest Monastery. Save money on air fare=P. I jio another friend along this time round. Usually I like to go alone or with just a couple of friends. It is a personal preference in which I feel I would not be "distracted" by familiar faces. Wrong view??=P

As Ajahn Keng was in Thailand at the time we were to go down, I seeked permission from Bhikkhu Lee who is left in charge of the monastery. Bhikkhu Lee kindly agreed immediately.

It was a mad rush as usual before going for the 2-week long retreat in which I would switch off my mobile and be cut off from the rest of the world=) as I need to settle all outstanding issues on hand. An irony? Now rush like mad, then later in retreat, just calmness...??

I was grateful to Bro Xin Hao from Singapore Polytechnic Buddhist Society who gave me information on how to reach there using the public transport (which really freaks me as I do not speak malay and would not know if the bus takes me all the way to Kedah!!) as well as the latest map which proves to be extremely useful.


Basically one can take a bus (either SBS Transit 170 or the yellow Causeway Link) from Kranji mrt all the way to Larkin Terminal in Johor. From there, look for a bus with a sign indicating Ulu Tiram. Pay RM$3 and you would be on your way. Surprising the journey took abt 30 mins only. However as there is some construction going on ard that area, the bus would not turn into Ulu Tiram Terminal. Thus you need to keep a lookout for TM (I figure it stands for Telco Malaya or something like that) Building which is easy as it is quite prominent (before that, do note that you are already in Ulu Tiram area) and press the bell to stop the bus. After that, you can easily ask for directions to Ulu Tiram Terminal which is just 5-10 mins away. Take the blue-coloured cab which cost RM$14 to finally reach Santi Forest Monastery. If you are like me who don't speak malay, you can show the map to the driver, a praying sign (anjali) and say the name "Ah Ming" (apparently one of the regulars at the monastery) . The driver would understand easily.

The real formal cultivation would start very soon. Look out for the next blog=)

Thousands gathered to witness Leonid meteor showers

SINGAPORE: Thousands of stargazers all over the world gathered on Wednesday to view what was said to be a spectacular show of celestial proportions.

The Leonid meteor showers were expected to rival the massive display of shooting stars in 1833 when the entire sky was lit up by thousands of meteors.

In Singapore, stargazers gathered for the show in the wee hours of the morning.

Some came prepared with telescopes, while others came empty handed but armed with wishes.

"(We wish) for a better year ahead, probably good results for our O—levels and world peace," said one.

"We’re 16 and we just finished our O—levels... hope to make some wishes...." said another.

This year, the cosmic spectacle can be seen from all over the planet but astronomers say Asia has the best viewing spots.

But many parts of Asia, including Singapore, experienced cloudy weather.

Hence, instead of a massive fireworks display the sky gazers were expecting, there were sparklers.

Scientists in Singapore say that about 14 shooting stars were visible from 4.30am to 5.30am.
— CNA/ir

PS: I saw 4. That is abt 30%. Not bad for a sleepy beginner=)

Witness to Leonid Meteor Shower 18 Nov 2009 4.20 - 5.30am!

I finally saw a "Shooting Star"!! Hooray! Yipee!!! Woosh! (Hahaha. This joke is for my reservist mates man!! hahaha) To be more precise, I saw a total of 4!! So proud of myself hahahah (Clap! Clap!)

I read about this coming meteor shower at yahoo news (More on Leonid Meteor Shower at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonids). Ok, I thought, another meteor shower... I only started paying attention when it was reported in the news. Wow! Must be something big since it was reported in the news! I surfed online for more information and it really seemed that it IS going to be a big thing. The best part was Asia would be one of the best places to watch this time! The only drawback was it was going to peak only in the wee morn ard 3-5am...... Sian half..... But all good things are worth putting in the effort and time rite?!=P

I finally decided to put in another valiant attempt after my failed first time (pls see blog below). I set my alarm clock at 2.30am ... ZZzzzz.....

Ring!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up. I struggled. My dad just returned home. My mum was resting in the living room. What would they think if I said I were going to catch some stars?!! Siao?!!! Ok, I reset the alarm clock to 4am. See how.... zzzz

Ring!!!!!!! Again. I woke up. I struggled. I struggled some more. What if cant catch any again? Waste of time?!! Heck! I went to the washroom, changed and off I went!

I drove to NUS' stadium which is pretty near my house. The sky was full of clouds. Fortunately I managed to find a part of the sky which was not overcast, not too affected by the artificial lights ard and where I can lie down, not affected by the wet grass etc.

As the mins ticked past, I could not help but wonder if this was going to be another waste trip. I always got the idea that places like East Coast and Changi would be more ideal for viewing. But I'm just too lazy to drive all the way east... The sky was with stars. I recalled how I was first awed many many years ago when I was training overseas dring NS. I happened to look up at the nite sky and Gosh! It was FULL of stars (easily trashed Singapore sky...). It was really a sight to behold!

All of a sudden, I saw IT!!! It happened so fast and unexpectedly that I don't know how to react?!!? Then... my heart rejoiced!!! Yes!! Yipee!!! Hooray!! Woosh?! (hahahah) It really took my breath away! It it really a feeling that cant be described easily. Priceless! Ok, I would keep my eyes open.

Some time past again. I was wondering if that would be the only fruit I gathered tonite when as suddenly & unexpectedly as the first one, the second one flashed ard the sky in a twinkle of an eye!! The same effect took over me...=)

The style in which the first two "Shooting Stars" happened were quite different. The first one moved in an arc and I got the first impression that God is littering (no offence meant pls=) and the second one was the standard striaght line flash across the sky.

The third and fourth one came close to each other.

Then I realised I did not make the standard wish upon a shooting star! Ok, I'd be well-prepared when the fifth one comes. Unfortunately, it did not come before I decided to pack up and went home.

It was definitely an experience and I'm so so glad I managed to pull myself out of bed=) I think I shld join some forums or clubs so that we can enjoy and rejoice together next time=) I wonder wat'd the effect be if it is really a Meteor Shower (as shown in the pic)....=)

Halloween Nite Out at Clarke Quay 31 Oct2009 Ooooooo......

This was my first time celebrating or rather participating in Halloween=) I decided last min to join my sis who was going to Clarke Quay with her frens after hrs of staring at notes for my coming exam... Besides I've always wondered how Halloween is celebrated. A little traffic jam was there as I neared the place.

When I reached at ard 11pm?, it was already quite HAPPENING!! I was treated to an Eye Feast as I walked towards the pub to meet my sister and her frens. A place called Canary which was so crowded with lotsa ppl queueing to go in that I missed it.

I could not help but were amazed by all the crowd, sight and dressing. Lotsa of Devils and Witches abound (Yawn... Boring...). Quite a few Jasons and killers from Scream "terrorised" the walkway too. Then there were also Japanese schoolgirls (my pervert fren's favourite hahahah), ladies in mini cheongsam (nose bleeding...), lolitas (nose continue bleeding...), Mario bro (took a pic with one), Chung Lis, demons, warriors, white & dark angels (their wings were a nusisance though as they walked ard).

A few were very "special" and "innovative". There is a gigantic Orange Juice drink (I wonder how the person inside can take the heat and see?!!). Another as a kissing booth (one caucasian lady really stopped the lady in "Kissing Booth and kissed her!). There was another dressed as a pageant contestant in swimsuit (literally haha). There was this weird guy or gal??? that just got a few pieces of cloth on her/him. I thought was a gal until my sis' fren told me to stop drooling cos he was a guy!!! Ok my excuse is I couldn't really see clearly in the crowd hahaha

However my favourite is ... ... a little girl dressed as Snow White. She was so excited by the sights ard her tat she was jumping up and down. So cute! Unfortunately din manage to grab her to take a photo before she was off somewhere with her parents to other adventures=( Since dun have the real one, a pic would suffice=P

I finally met up with my sis and her frens. The gals were basically witches, not scary but funny ones by the way hahaha. Then another guy colleague was dressed up as Jason. In pic above, he was caught killing one of the witches in cold blood...

We finally settled for a pub where my sis and new made frens (Jason's scythe was confiscated by the bouncer at the entrance) started dancing away while I just stood there like a block of wood (as my sis' fren said). Disco dancing is not my cup of tea.

Instead I was flirting with my eyes haha. Well since not dancing, may as well make full use of my time while tere. rite? Catching other gals' look and see if got any reaction from them haha. No luck though=/ Just for fun lah

I left at ard 2am but my sis and her frens stayed till 5am++??!!! and they still got work to do the next day!!!

Har I'd participate in next yr Halloween. Maybe something like a Huggable Bear or something so I can get to hug all the chiobus heheheee=P

Ok, some photos for yr enjoyment. Courtesy of my sis and her fren, Ceco=)